李晨上周评改英语习作的两篇博文得到了刘鹰老师等同行通过评论和邮件等方式的大力支持，并希望我坚持做下去，于是便有了下面的这篇评改。
在评改之前，李晨想大略地总结一下国内外对于二语 (second language) 或者外语 (foreign language) 写作教学的主流方法论，推荐文献如下。
Selected Bibliography for L2/FL Writing Pedagogy
- 程静英; 英语写作教学分析 [J];外语教学与研究; 1994年02期
- 郭遂红; 大学英语写作常见错误分析及纠错策略 [J];桂林师范高等专科学校学报; 2003年04期
- 李金红; 国外主流写作理论对我国外语写作教学的启示 [J];国外外语教学; 2006年02期
- 刘宽平,周业芳,曹小燕; 提高中国学生英语写作能力的有效途径 [J];外语教学; 2003年06期
- 战秀琴; 英语写作语句衔接分析 [J];北华大学学报(社会科学版); 2001年01期
- Badger, R. and White, G. (2000) A process genre approach to teaching writing. ELT Journal. 54: 153-160
- Hyland, K. (2002) Teaching and Researching Writing. Pearson Education
- O’Brien, T. (2004) Writing in a foreign language: teaching and learning. Language Teaching. 37: 1-28
- Silva, T. and Brice, C. (2004) Research in Teaching Writing. Annual Review of Applied Linguistics. 24: 70-106
- Weigle, S. C. (2005) Second Language Writing Expertise. In Johnson, K. (2005) Expertise in Second Language Learning and Teaching (eds.) Palgrave MacMillan.
对于国外的主流写作教学理论，上表中的8、9、10三篇文章都具备极强的总结性和概括性，李晨认为若有条件的话一定要揣摩吃透，大有裨益。
本次评改的英语作文原文出自一位理工科学生之手（国籍不详）。该生已经本科毕业，即将赴美攻读计算机科学专业硕士。文章题目如下：
You are planning to study abroad. What do you think you will like and dislike about this experience? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support you arguments.
| 习作原文 | 李晨评改 |
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Studying abroad is very intersted and provide new experine for the student and give them apportanty to acheive thier goals . I prefer to study outside my countriy because, it will help me to compleat my education and have good and new experince to my life. At my countriy it is diffficut to compleat my study because i have bachlories degree at computer since and there is no master degree at this field . So for any student who wish to compleat his master degree at computer scince , he must study abroad. Last month i had admation from americain university at United states for my master degree at computer scince, For that I apllayed for visa to be reday for travel to united states and compleat my study. Studying outside will give good experince for my life becasue i will be depond on myself for everything, and will give more confident . Also, when i am studying abroad , i will be able to have alot of friend and share the information and culture with them . All in all, studyeing outside will give the student a chance to compleate his study and will give hime chance to add more expernace for his life . |
Studying abroad can be a very interesting experience. It gives the student opportunities to achieve their goals and discover new cultures. I would prefer to study outside my country because it will help me to both complete my education and expand my horizons. It is difficult for me to complete my studies in my own country. I already have a bachelor’s degree in computer science but unfortunately there is no master’s degree offered in this field. Therefore, any student who wishes to pursue a master’s degree in computer science must go and study abroad. Luckily, I was admitted to a graduate program in computer science at an American university last month. I have already applied for a student’s visa in order to be able to travel to the United States and pursue my MSc. Studying in a new place will definitely be a memorable experience. I will have to manage by myself and be responsible for everything. This way I will learn to become more independent and self-confident. In addition to studying, I will also be able to make a lot of new friends and learn about each other’s culture. To sum up, studying in a different country can give students a chance to pursue their studies and give them a chance to gain some meaningful experiences in their lives. |
综合评点
原文在李晨看来是日常口头交流直接落成文字的典型，虽然口语和写作之间的区别在写作教材上是个必谈的话题，但是类似原文的学生习作却屡见不鲜。修改的时候不仅仅要考虑拼写、语法等问题，还要揣摩文章的内在逻辑、用词和句式上的考究和变化。如果每一篇上交的英语作文都在这个水准，也就难怪广大英语教师们觉得写作课难上，难于上青天了。
从教师的角度，写作之所以难教，一方面与写作本身的高要求相关（写作需要一定水平的词汇、语法为基础，并需辅以大量阅读和教师提点，才能达到对于英语思维的体会和掌握，最终写出较为地道的英文）；李晨认为更重要的是另一方面的原因，即主流的写作教学理论与写作测试导向基本相悖的怪现象——教学以写作过程为主 (process-oriented)，考试却只专注于最终成品 (product-oriented)。
当然该现象的出现也可以认为是英语教学法沿革的必然产物，李晨在这里并不想太过深入地探讨和语言测试相关的内容，但值得注意的是这种教学与测试脱节的现象不仅仅在我国存在，在世界范围内也是个让英语教师头疼的问题。比如在西欧国家教学多年的 Tim Caudery 就曾提出如下的观点：
the trend in language teaching is towards emphasis on the extended composing process, there has been no concomitant trend in the assessment of writing skills in examinations.
– Caudery, T. 1990. ‘The validity of timed essay tests in the assessment of writing skills’. ELT Journal 44/2: 123.
语言测试领域的学者Cushing对于该现象的描述可谓一针见血：
. . . for many teachers, particularly in academic settings, the social aspects of writing are increasingly being recognised, and an evaluation of writing may also include consideration of the degree to which students have incorporated instructor and/or peer feedback in their writing. In evaluating a final written product, thus, it is no longer strictly the ability of the writer to use his or her own linguistic and cognitive resources to generate appropriate texts independently that is the issue, but rather the ability of the writer to make use of all available resources—including social interactions—to create a text that appropriately meets the needs of the audience and fulfils a communicative goal.
– Cushing, S. 2002. Assessing Writing. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. p.178
所以，尽管教师在课堂上使出浑身解数向学生传授“过程写作教学法”(process-oriented writing) ，即一种以教授学生站在作者的角度从写作材料的收集到写作成品完成的整个过程中的所有活动和相关写作策略和技巧的教学法，到了考试的时候，学生根本没有时间和精力去考虑课堂上学习的写作过程，而是为了最终的“成品”(product) 而绞尽脑汁。对于教学双方来说，这种脱节不能不说是一种悲哀。
诚然，很多具有革新精神的教师都在寻找一种既能传授写作过程技巧，又能满足考试要求的教学法，国内外也有所谓的“process-genre approach” ，“post-process writing instruction”和许多小规模的写作教学法科研模型（比如“写长法”）。相信这些新的科研成果必将引领英语写作教学走向新纪元。
July 1st, 2008 at 9:23 am
It is not rare for a Chinese student to write such kind of so-called articles. While the point in this case is that there are so many words misspelt, which is indeed a shame. therefore we can see clearly that the writer didn’t had a solid base in Language learning, which is not always the teacher’s fault.So don’t blame the teachers forever.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:50 am
Well said, Arnold. Thanks a lot for the comment.
Learners’ writing autonomy is yet another issue I want to raise here. Many students seldom do writing practice outside classroom as they find it rather pointless to write something without the teacher’s feedback.
What they don’t know is that they, as writers, should assume full responsibility for their written products — the teachers shouldn’t and cannot hold their hands forever.
I’ll address this issue in my next post.
July 6th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
I always echo openly one idea and this personal opinion of mine is definitely drawing fire from those who do not appreciate what I am trying to echo in public.
“In Mainland China, English means money.”
There are two ways to interpret this line. On the positive side, we all know good English ability knocks open a lot of doors of opportunity - higher pay, a job in foreigner owned business, ability to negotiate with your own customers if you own your own business, etc.
On the negative side, I am tempted to say that English can be acquired at some costs, unless your have good language talents and acquire it with minimum help from teachers.
The big classes in China is not productive at all in offering composition training to students as the workload on the teachers is too much even if there were enough teachers around who could write good composition themselves. In a lot of places in China, there are still a huge shortage in qualified English teachers - teachers who can engage in an English conversation freely and write almost flawless composition. Needless to say, most students are not putting in enough effort and they care not except in passing the exam rather than in the use of English.
Now with the under-supply of qualified English teachers, those who need additional help have to go look for tutorial support. We are looking at making one capable of using English freely both in spoken and written form. With this in mind, most English tutors are under-qualified for that purpose. And that comes in the picture of a heavier investment in retaining a qualified person who certainly will be doing so at a higher level of fee.
I have come across working adult English learners who can express themselves at length in long long passages without too much obvious errors, or with errors that are actually buried in the long sentences. The English is not broken in that sense but is reasonably fluid and good enough to express ideas.
Wait! Ask them to write a few lines in a business email. Their weakness is all exposed. Capitalization, proper termination of a sentence and spelling errors all show up vividly.